The inner voice is a kind of internal cassette that is activated mainly when we mess up.
I am going to give you some examples of what she normally says to recognize it. In general, if you have two proper names, she always starts the phrases to use them (one of the reasons why I did not give my son two proper names, to switch over to the sabotaging inner voice!)
So what can your inner voice say:
- “ (First name + second name) are always the same!”
- “You never do anything until the end!” or “Leave it all in half”
- “You really are lazy @” (very active on missed trips to the gym)
- “You don’t do anything properly!”
- “You don’t give one to the box”
- “You will never be anyone in life”
- “So you go far …”
- “You never do anything that way”
- “You are always the last one to finish ..”
Does it already sound familiar? For here, the term to be used is really “familiar” , because this unconscious internal cassette was originally recorded by our parents on our original hard drive every time there was some kind of conflict. That is, when something did not happen exactly as they had imagined in their expectations.
The most curious thing is that, in turn, their tape was recorded by your grandparents. And now that you know where these internal recordings come from, you have the possibility to choose not to pass them on to your children.
The inner voice is full of generalizations. He constantly uses “never” and “always”. It takes something that went wrong, and turns it into a sentence for all other situations, or a sticky label that we spend our lives trying to take off.
The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice.- Peggy O’Mara
How can I make my inner voice more positive?
- Recognize that it exists. She has more power when you listen to her but you are not consciously paying attention to what she is saying to you, and how she is influencing you. It is like a magic trick, when you find out how it is done, it loses its powerful effect.
- Change the laps. Doubt her, question if what she is telling you is really true.
- Don’t take it seriously. Just as you must choose your friends and the people around you, you must make a selection of the thoughts that cross your mind. If they are toxic and do not support you, send them for a walk, and get kinder thoughts that will give you a hug when you need it.
- Change the internal critic for your biggest fan. We have the wrong idea that the more we criticize a person, the more he is motivated to change. This is neither true emotionally nor neurologically. When we feel constantly criticized, we feel threatened, and our capacity for creative response and learning is compromised. Furthermore, when WE are simultaneously the victim and the attacker, as when we have strong internal self-criticism.
- Rule your inner tape. Like any tape, you can choose to record a better song over the top. The more you repeat and change the rounds of the usual phrases, the more your brain will reinforce the new responses.
When you recover the power of your internal narrative, you recover the steering wheel of your story, now accompanied by your best friend and fan: TU.
Just imagine what you can achieve, when you have a person as special as you cheering for you, every moment …